Attack

My heart races,
My breath quickens.
I close my eyes –
Here it comes…

A rising ocean,
Like a tidal wave implosion….
Crashing on my shore,
Destroying –
An internal war.

Grasping for comfort,
A food, a drug, a drink…
Why won’t anything work?
Fuck! I can’t even think!

With the initial blow over,
The next one comes…
It’s not just one wave..
Oh fuck, here it comes!
Just breathe… Just breathe…
You can do this..
Just relax.
Just find your internal bliss…
You can handle this.

What calms me down,
Is when silence prevails –
A time of meditation,
A time of contemplation.
I breathe and im ok –
This feeling fades away.

My eyes open,
Again I’m calm.
Time to live life –
With a smile and a charm.
I won’t let it control me,
I’ve found my peace –
Grounding, meditating,
This way – I achieve my peace.

*S. Slate 2016*